44 days away from being an American expatriate! This summer has been full of fun and friendship, independence and change. There’s not enough time to hold on to things that are broken, so I must press forward and hold onto those who are deserving of trust, and invest in those relationships that thrive out of mutual respect, honor, and love. Forsake the rest, at least for now.

Sure, these days have had its disappointments and tears shed, but at the end of the day all I can do is the shake the dust off and embrace the many treasures that God bestows upon me every single day.

It’s exhilarating to know that my life is what I make it, every minute. Somewhere I know a clock is ticking, but this is me seizing the day, every day, these next 44 and beyond!

Highlights so far: everything we did while my family was here for graduation (Getty, Hollywood/Highland, Santa Monica, Griffith Observatory, Garment District, Old Town) and since: Galaxy game, days at the pool, dodgers game, Alicia keys concert, Venice, Irvine Spectrum, Amoeba trips, days at the park, hiking Baldy, Nate visiting, beach bonfires, Pasadena Playhouse, Universal Studios + Citywalk, playing with Erica, Tracy, Alexa, say yes parties at Grady’s house, wii fit and james bond, Club Shag, Avalon, Hollywood at night, too much Netflix (21jump street, weeds), Phase 10, Roscoe’s, Sprinkles, Jazz @ LACMA, barbeques… it’s the people + the experiences that make these days so great.

I try not to forget these poignant memories- life is sweet, time is precious, I cherish making the most of it.

Next up: Riverside to visit Luis, DC for 4^th of July, Runyon Canyon

And then the inevitable preparing for Fulbright. How does one prepare for such a venture? Emotionally? Psychologically? Physically? A year abroad! All of the details are falling into place now. And I can’t process it enough to be excited or anxious: its unbelievable, and will probably remain that way until I’m boarding that flight to Hong Kong.

I'm not done with xanga- i'll probably still use it for the venting when i want to journal in Macau. (Don't worry Xanga) But my other blog will be the place of chronicling the Fulbright journey!

My internet is shoddy- to explain for why I haven't written here in forever-- i basically check my email only at work.

This semester has been so full, but I have few pictures to show for it all. So good, but so very much the end. I spoke in APU's chapel, went with a roommate home to San Diego, went to my father's wedding... we've played on rooftops in LA, learned how to salsa dance, went to the LACMA. My list of things to do while living in LA is dwindling, and it makes me yearn for that next step. Maybe I need to start over somewhere else. Maybe Fulbright will work out, and then what?
I miss my family. The East Coast is calling for me, and I can think of no more good reasons to stay in LA besides the fact that I like it here and have a few friends.

It's been hard: lots of schoolwork with Baloian/Sr. Sem. But good learning: ie Real Estate.
Disappointments at SAY Yes, broke up with a boyfriend, speaking in chapel brought up some hard and painful issues....I look around and know that it's time to say goodbye. Something new is about to happen, and I'm excited. The Lord is preparing me quietly. I feel like I'm walking backwards toward a waterfall.

I'm tired. Ready for that painful independence, and something new. Knowing that this is the end makes me look around. And I know myself: rather than to say goodbye, I cut ties. So I'm trying not to, but it's hard. Because I don't want to be disappointed with unmet expectations for what will become of all these loves of mine that I've built up in college.

I'm ready to go, I think. I know not where or to do what, exactly, though.